Fix my sandwich!: In 2012, Rother McLennon of Connecticut called 911 after a deli messed up his order. The extremely patient dispatcher told him that if he doesn’t like the sandwich, he should just leave the shop.

Fire Curtains: When Elaine Owens saw a fire in her bathroom, she called 911. The fire department showed up to discover that the “flames” were just sunlight reflecting off the shower curtain.

Another Sandwich Order Gone Wrong: Rother wasn’t the only one having trouble with his sandwich. Reginald Peterson of Jacksonville, Florida called police when Subway employees left off his sauce. He then called back to complain that officers weren’t responding fast enough.

Joe McCain: In 2008, John McCain’s younger brother called 911 to complain about traffic. The dispatcher told him he couldn’t call for non-emergency reasons, to which Joe responded “f### you” and hung up. The dispatcher called back and reached the voicemail of Joe McCain that stated “Sorry I cannot take your call right now. I am busy with a family political project” (his brother was running for president). The dispatcher left a message telling him that what he did is prosecutable. So Joe did what any lovable politician would do…he called 911 back to complain about the message.

It's the moon!: In 2011, a British man in Canterbury dialed 999 (British emergency number) to report a massive light source above his house. The dispatcher told him that she would look into it, but the man called back 2 minutes later saying, “You won’t believe this…it’s the moon!”

Make my burger!: In 2005, a recording surfaced online of a dispatcher fielding a call from an irate California soccer mom whose Burger King burger wasn’t being done her way. The dispatcher can be heard telling her, “Ma’am, we’re not going to go down there and enforce your Western Bacon Cheeseburger.”

A Bad Manicure: When the nail tech didn’t do her nails right, Cynthia Colston of Florida called the police. She then called again to ask when the police were going to show up. Then when the police did show up, she called yet again to complain that nothing was being done. Well, that’s not entirely correct. Something was done – Cynthia got taken to jail.

The Missing Juice: When a McDonald’s employee forgot to include an orange juice with Raibin Osman’s order, Raibin called the police. After being informed that he was abusing the system, and refusing to calm down, he was arrested and had to spend the night in an Oregon jail.

Politics Can Be Dirty: Local Cleveland school board member Andrew Mizsak was living in his parent’s basement when he refused to clean his room. (He was 28 years old.) His dad called the police and a tearful Andrew later ended up promising to pick up his toys…er…stuff. The call ended with his dad apologizing to the dispatcher saying that he didn’t want to ruin his son’s political career. Apparently nobody told papa Mizsak that ruining a political career is no longer possible. Thanks Don!

Special Brownies: In 2006, Michigan police officer Edward Sanchez pocketed some weed during a bust. That evening, he made weed brownies with his wife and ended up calling 911 to tell the operator that he was dead. He’s no longer a police officer.

The Cute Cop: In 2006, after a couple of police officers knocked on Oregon resident Lorna Dudash’s door to inform her that her music was too loud, Lorna called 911 to get the name of one of the officers. Why? Because she thought he was cute. And that’s how Lorna ended up spending the night in jail.

Calling the Cops on Herself: After a long night of drinking, Wisconsin resident Mary Strey called 911 to report a dangerous driver. After the dispatcher asked whether she was behind the driver, she replied, “No, I am the driver.”

I don't want to go to bed!: When 10 year old Dan Davis’s mom told him to go to bed, he threatened to call 911. When his mom tried to call his bluff, he went forward with it. Although Dan wasn’t arrested, he did get tucked in by a police officer.

Hockey Issues: In 2010, a Canadian man made repeated calls to 911 asking them to bring the Jets from Atlanta back to Winnipeg. After being warned several times, he was told that the Royal Canadian Mounted Police were going to come and take him to jail. His response? “Can they bring some smokes?”

The Butt Dial: In 2013, some crooks butt-dialed 911 in Oklahoma, right after robbing a house. Apparently, they were overheard discussing their loot.

My house has a heartbeat!: This is exactly what a woman in Kalispell, Montana told the 911 operator after she called to complain about her neighbor’s loud music. We’re still not sure if she was speaking metaphorically…

My mom took my beer!: In 2010, Florida resident Charles Dennison called 911 to complain that his mom had taken his beer. It turns out that he was quite intoxicated when making the phone calls. Luckily for Charles, he had plenty of time to sober up in jail.

A Not-So-Bright Pothead: A man from Lincoln, Nebraska called 911 to report that some of his favorite hookah pipes had been stolen. When police arrived, however, they were more interested in the “special plants” he was growing around the house.

Homework Help: In 2013, a four-year-old boy became in internet sensation when a recording of his 911 call was leaked. Apparently, he had called for help with his math homework. The patient operator proceeded to help him with problems like 16 – 8.

My boyfriend won't marry me!: When Tennessee resident Hee Orama’s boyfriend failed to make up his mind regarding marriage, Hee resorted to calling 911. She told the dispatcher that he, “wouldn’t make an honest woman of her.” Apparently, she was a repeat 911 caller because she eventually ended up getting in trouble for abusing the system.

Another Butt Dial: In 2013, dispatchers in Fresno, California got butt-dialed from two men who had broken into a car and stolen prescription drugs.

My iPhone isn't working: Instead of calling Apple to help fix his phone, Michael Alan Skopec of Illinois decided to call the police. And not just once…repeatedly! The cops did eventually show up, but not to fix the phone. They took Michael to jail!

My husband won't eat his dinner!: This was the exact reason that Texas resident Elsa Benson called 911 in 2009. Apparently, she had a record of calling 911 for non-emergencies.

Leave the Phone at Home: A burglar in Shelby County, Ohio accidentally butt-dialed 911 while breaking into a home. He then proceeded to hide in a closet but when the police arrived, his phone’s low battery alarm gave him away.

I'm locked in my car!: In 2009, a woman from Kissimmee, Florida called 911 when she locked herself in her car. If you’re wondering how on earth that is even possible…then you can empathize with the dispatcher. After a stunned silence, the dispatcher asked her, “Are you able to pull the lock up on door? You should still be able to pull the lock up even if it’s electrical.” The woman, who apparently did not think of this, proceeded to sheepishly thank the dispatcher.